It did take a very long time to come to terms with the word
There is no work space in my house where I can do either of those things that I used to love so much
When it was clear that I could no longer continue my education and I could not work, that is when I began to look into signing up for disability. Disabled sounds so negative. I felt ashamed, and almost as if everything was my fault, though I know all of it was out of my control. When I did finally muster up the courage to apply, I felt a sense of relief knowing that perhaps I would get a little bit of financial aid to help me move out someday. When my application was denied I couldn’t have been more crushed. I did not have enough work credits because I had chosen to go back to school instead of working, and because my health was so poor during that time 
, I had quit my job in favor of going to college. The only way to possibly get more work credits would be to get a job, but that was exactly why I had chosen to apply for disability in the first place. I obviously would never graduate college, and I couldn’t work, so I needed help.
And here we have the biggest conundrum of all. How can I gain work credit if I cannot work? Simply put, it’s impossible. I am stuck in a terrible situation, one which I can either fight, because I cannot work and get those work credits comma and because rules are rules. There’s no way around the work credit problem, so there is no way to fight it. I can’t just flee either, because there is nothing to flee from. How can I run away from all my troubles? Do I become homeless? Clearly, I would never want that to be an option, so I continued to stay at home with my parents. It is an absolutely miserable life though, because I have no sense of independence.
I cannot drive a car due to my anxiety and the medication that I take. I’m not allowed to operate heavy machinery. I tried to learn how to drive, and just ended up getting screamed at by the instructor. Trying to drive with my boyfriend got me screamed at by my boyfriend. It is clear I’m just not competent enough to drive, or maybe my brain is too addled to focus on it. I can no longer sculpt with clay or cast in resin because of the mess involved. Previously, my parents were unaware of the process that I would go through because I did everything in the morning hours while they were asleep.
Either way, it is not an option for me
It was an accidental awakening that clued them in to what exactly I was doing, and how it could possibly damage the surrounding area. Even though I insist that I am neat, I can no longer do either of these things. I could potentially work in the garage, but once again, there are problems. There is no room whatsoever to work because there’s too much being stored there. I would also need to open the door for ventilation, which could be potentially dangerous in the middle of the night. Our neighborhood is a prime area for car robbery, and I do not want to be out in the open like that. I tried painting on canvas, but none of my paintings sold. That was very disheartening and I no longer feel like doing any more paintings.