Romantic love, however, may also be classified according to two categories, «popular romance» and «divine»(or «spiritual») romance
In the following excerpt, from Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet , Romeo, in saying «all combined, save what thou must combine By holy marriage» implies that it is not marriage with Juliet that he seeks but simply to be joined with her romantically. That «I pray That thou consent to marry us» implies that the marriage means the removal of the social obstacle between the two opposing families, not that marriage is sought by Romeo with Juliet for any other particular reason, as adding to their love or giving it any more meaning.
«Then plainly know my heart’s dear love is set On the fair daughter of rich Capulet: As mine on hers, so hers is set on mine; And all combined, save what thou must combine By holy marriage: when and where and how We met, we woo’d and made exchange of vow, I’ll tell thee as we pass; but this I pray, That thou consent to marry us to-day.»
The experience of the beloved as special, idealized, necessary for one’s happiness
Popular romance may include but is not limited to the following types: idealistic, normal intense (such as the emotional aspect of » falling in love «), predictable as well as unpredictable, consuming (meaning consuming of time, energy and emotional withdrawals and bids), intense but out of control (such as the aspect of «falling out of love») material and commercial (such as societal gain mentioned in a later section of this article), physical and sexual, and finally grand and demonstrative. Divine (or spiritual) romance may include, but is not limited to these following types: realistic, as well as plausible unrealistic, optimistic as well as pessimistic (depending upon the particular beliefs held by each person within the relationship.), abiding (e.g. the theory that each person had a predetermined stance as an agent of choice; such as «choosing a husband» or «choosing a soul mate.»), non-abiding (e.g. the theory that we do not choose our actions, and therefore our romantic love involvement has been drawn from sources outside of ourselves), predictable as well as unpredictable, self control (such as obedience and sacrifice within the context of the relationship) or lack thereof (such as disobedience within the context of the relationship), emotional and personal, soulful (in the theory that the mind, soul, and body, are one connected entity), intimate, and infinite (such as the idea that love itself or the love of a god or God’s «unconditional» love is or could be everlasting, if particular beliefs were, in fact, true.)
Historical definition of romantic love
In an article presented by Henry Gruenbaum, one argument is that many «therapists mistakenly believe that romantic love is a phenomenon unique to Western cultures and first expressed by the troubadours of the Middle Ages» (referencing best gay hookup sites Fisher, 1995). He continues stating also that «a recent survey of the anthropological literature by Jankowiak and Fisher (1992) found evidence of romantic love in every culture for which there were adequate data. For instance, an 80-year old Taita man recalled his fourth wife with words that could come from a Valentine card : ‘She was the wife of my heart.'» Gruenbaum argues that it was mainly Christian theologians who historically wrote the most material about romantic love (referencing Solomon Higgins, 1991). He states that these particular «philosophers were primarily concerned about» romantic love’s «allegedly subversive effects on society and the concomitant need to control such an irrational emotion.» According to Gruenbaum, the definition of romantic love identifies three main features: «1. Feelings of longing for the other, including the desire to be intimate with them both sexually and psychologically, and feelings of loss and loneliness during ple, Napoleon wrote to his empress Josephine : ‘I have not spent a day without loving you; I have not spent a night without embracing you. ‘, 2. «[eg. » Zelda Fitzgerald asked F. Scott Fitzgerald shortly after they met. ‘I feel like you had me ordered — and I was delivered to you.'(quoted in Fraser, 1976, p. 143)], and 3. The preoccupation with and overevaluation of the loved one.»